Presumably, you've been using the potty for many years now. Isn't it time to finally get it right by knowing proper bathroom etiquette?
16 Bathroom Etiquette Rules You Should Never (Ever!) Break
Updated on Oct. 03, 2024
Learn proper bathroom etiquette so you’re not “that” person
There I was, in a toilet stall in Target, doing my thing when I noticed a small hand under the divider to my right, waving hi. Before I could react, there was an entire toddler in the stall with me. As a mom of five, I just had to laugh—toddlers are unpredictable and great at waiting until you’re incapacitated to wreak havoc—but obviously going into a stall someone else is using is terrible bathroom etiquette.
“Whatcha doing?” he asked.
“Probably the same thing your mom is doing,” I answered. At which point his mom began apologizing to me and pleading with him to crawl back into her stall.
Most of us know better than to crawl under a stall divider (we hope!), but do you know all the bathroom etiquette rules? “You’d be surprised at the strange things people think are OK to do in a bathroom,” says Elaine Swann, a certified etiquette expert and veteran of many public bathrooms. “Bathrooms are one of the worst places for etiquette breaches and one of the best places to practice good etiquette.”
Read on to find out the biggest etiquette mistakes people make in the bathroom and to get expert advice from Swann and fellow etiquette expert Diane Gottsman about how to make sure your bathroom experiences are positive for you (and any curious toddlers).
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Put away your phone while in a public bathroom stall
Yes, everyone uses their cellphones while in the bathroom. But just because it’s common doesn’t make it good etiquette. Not only is this habit a great way to get fecal germs on your phone (which can then transfer to your hands or your face―ew!), but it’s “unseemly” for anyone to take the phone into the bathroom, private or public, says Gottsman, who owns the Protocol School of Texas.
Beyond the ick factor, notes Swann, “using your phone in the bathroom encourages you to stay in the stall longer, which can be a problem if there are other people waiting to use it. It’s very easy to lose track of time when using your phone.” Even if there’s not a line, this behavior can keep your companions waiting longer for you (and wondering if you fell in) or even make a group late for dinner or another activity.
It’s also rude to do this in other people’s home bathrooms. It’s different if it’s your own home and no one is waiting to use the bathroom—just be sure you’re regularly sanitizing your phone.
Don’t talk on the phone while doing your business
Checking your texts is bad enough, but some people feel that the bathroom is a good opportunity to catch up with others, by making or receiving phone calls. This is most definitely a breach of good etiquette. In a private bathroom situation, the person on the phone doesn’t want to hear you doing your business. In a public bathroom situation, the person on the phone doesn’t want to hear you and everyone else doing their business, and no one in the bathroom wants to overhear your conversation, Gottsman says. The bottom line: The bathroom is a place you should never talk on the phone.
Beyond those problematic phone calls, the most surefire ways to irritate those around you include playing music, YouTube videos or loud mobile games over your phone’s speaker. “This is a relatively new area of etiquette—20 years ago, this wasn’t even really an option,” Gottsman adds. “When deciding whether or not a phone activity is appropriate, it’s important to think about how your phone use is affecting those around you.”
Maintain an appropriate distance from others
Encroaching on someone’s personal space is annoying anywhere, but in a bathroom, it can also make you look like a creep. “Personal-space boundaries are more sensitive in public bathrooms than in other venues,” Gottsman says. So, when choosing a urinal or using a stall, put the maximum possible distance between you and anyone else who is already there.
This includes being aware of where your hands and feet are. Don’t stretch your feet under the dividers into other stalls or stand so wide at the urinal that you’re in another person’s space. And don’t reach around or over others to get to the soap or paper towels—stand back, and wait your turn.
Don’t dawdle
Phones aren’t the only reason people take too long in the bathroom. But whether you’re reapplying your makeup at the mirror, catching up with an old friend by the door or simply lost in thought on the pot, it’s rude to take more than a few minutes if others are waiting, Swann says.
And in case you were wondering, this bathroom etiquette rule applies regardless of whether the bathroom is single- or multi-stalled. In a single-stall bathroom, your hanging around is potentially keeping other people waiting in line outside the bathroom. In a multi-stall situation, your idling is potentially keeping “bathroom-shy” folks from doing their business. If you’re dawdling in the bathroom at a friend’s home, they may become concerned about you and feel like they need to check if you’re OK.
Skip small talk with strangers
In a public-bathroom scenario, you should not make small talk with strangers. “A simple nod of the head or a friendly ‘hello’ is all that is necessary,” Gottsman says. And if you’re in a stall, never try to strike up a conversation with a stranger in another stall or urinal or with a person who is waiting for one.
That said, Swann says it’s OK to talk to your friend who is in the bathroom with you. “But be careful of what you’re discussing,” she adds. “Be sure to keep your conversation polite, and avoid talking about bodily functions or other taboo conversation topics.”
Keep the company to a minimum
Swann acknowledges that this is a tricky situation. “Who doesn’t like company in the bathroom sometimes? And in a public situation, it can be safer to go with someone else,” she says. “But don’t bring so many people that they’re in the way of others trying to use the bathroom.”
In some cases, such as if you have small children, it will be necessary to bring them in with you, but be sure you’re keeping them close (even in the stall with you, if need be). Don’t let them run amok, crawl into other people’s stalls or play with the automatic paper-towel dispensers, and teach them good manners and bathroom etiquette.
Never peep under the stall or through the crack
While my toddler toilet visitor is an egregious (if hilarious) example, Swann says she’s seen fully grown adults do something similar. “I’ve seen people walk in on others when the door isn’t latched properly or try to force open a door that is locked,” she says. “Another issue is the peeping underneath the stall or through the door cracks to see if the stall is occupied.”
Yes, it’s poor etiquette to bend down and look under the stall. How can you tell if it’s occupied? “Knock politely, and wait for an answer before trying the handle,” she says. If there’s no answer, you can ask, “Excuse me—is there someone in there?” and give it a jiggle or a soft push. If there is an answer, be polite, and wait your turn.
Always lock the door behind you
We’ve all been there—your bladder is about to explode, you’re in a rush or you’re distracted, and you forget to latch the stall door or lock the bathroom door. The only thing more embarrassing than having an unplanned guest walk in on you doing your bathroom business is being the one inadvertently walking in on an occupied bathroom. That’s because the person who didn’t lock the bathroom door should have known better, Gottsman says. And since the person who walks right into that trap cannot unsee what they’ve seen, is it really fair to put them in that situation? It’s not the worst etiquette mistake, but it’s easily avoidable.
Clean up after yourself
It would seem to go without saying that in every bathroom, at all times, you should never leave without cleaning up any mess you might have made. But it’s important enough that both of our etiquette experts asked that we remind everyone to clean up after themselves. That doesn’t just mean wiping dribbles off the seat/floor/wherever. Place all feminine sanitary products in the proper disposal container, pick up any dropped toilet paper, wipe off wet countertops, and don’t leave wrappers or other trash on counters. Polite people also run the water in the sink to remove any soap bubbles they’ve left behind and place their used towels in the proper receptacle, Gottsman adds.
Flush toilet paper only
Speaking of proper receptacles, if you’re attempting to flush things that shouldn’t be flushed, you’re violating a very basic rule of bathroom protocol, Swann says. Things that shouldn’t be flushed: anything except your own “personal” waste and a reasonable amount of toilet paper. Don’t flush tampons, maxi pads, trash or any type of wipes—including so-called “flushable” wipes. These items could clog up a toilet and cause serious (not to mention potentially embarrassing) problems.
Take care of clogs
If you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of encountering an uncooperative toilet, don’t use it. If your use of the toilet is what precipitated the problem, then the first thing you should do is to try to fix the problem, within reason. If you can’t fix it, don’t just pretend there’s not a problem.
“If you clog the toilet for any reason, you need to be the one that takes care of it,” Swann says. “If you don’t see a plunger in the bathroom, you should ask your host where one is. If you’re in a public bathroom, ask an employee for help. Yes, it’s embarrassing. But you still shouldn’t leave a toilet clogged.”
Do a courtesy flush
Expect some bad smells in a bathroom; that’s part of what bathrooms are for. However, if there are things you can do to make the next person’s bathroom experience less odiferous, then you should do them. “Not all places provide air fresheners, but if you see one out—say, in your friend’s bathroom—go ahead and give it a quick spritz,” Swann says.
Another option she gives to help keep the air as stink-free as possible? Doing a “courtesy flush.” This means flushing partway through a poop or immediately afterward to get it down the drain as quickly as possible. Most people do this by flushing it while still seated or slightly hovering over the toilet. Then you should finish your business and clean yourself up. Flush a second time, and make sure there are no water droplets left on the seat.
Keep overly scented products to a minimum
Have you ever walked into a bathroom so perfumed you could taste it? Ugh. We appreciate your dedication to making the bathroom smell a little better, but hosts and guests (or patrons) can go overboard trying to clear out the stink—creating a bigger problem, Swann says. A quick spritz or two of air freshener is plenty. No one wants to inhale a lungful of canned, scented air. Similarly, be careful with scented candles, plug-ins and essential oils. You can quickly become “nose blind” to the smells, and guests can find them overwhelming. “A little goes a very long way with scents,” Swann says.
On a personal note: I’m allergic to a lot of artificial scents, and many air fresheners have caused me to sneeze and get sniffles, watery eyes and even hives. While not everyone would agree with me, I’d rather smell poop than “French countryside floral bouquet in summer with butterflies” if it would prevent a sneezing fit. But overall, the key with this bathroom rule is moderation.
Replace empty toilet paper rolls
If you leave the bathroom with the cardboard showing on the toilet paper roll, then you’re not being considerate to the next person who’s going to use the bathroom, Gottsman says. If the toilet paper runs out while you’re using the bathroom and you can see a fresh roll, it’s kind to put on a new roll and throw the empty one in the trash. If you don’t see a fresh roll of toilet paper, ask your host. When you’re in a public restroom, let the appropriate person (like a bathroom attendant or restaurant manager) know it needs to be replaced. And, adds Swann, “if there’s someone waiting for the stall, it’s kind to let them know that the toilet paper is out [when you exit] so they don’t find out the hard way.”
Wash your hands
If there is one bad bathroom etiquette habit that all experts wish they could cure, it would be skipping out on hand washing. Sudsing up post-potty is not just the right thing for you—it’s the right thing for everyone who touches the doorknob after you, as well as anyone who you happen to touch after using the bathroom and anyone who happens to touch anything you’ve touched after using the bathroom. “It’s not enough to just rinse with water either,” Swann says. “Wash with soap and water, for at least 20 seconds.” If soap isn’t available, hand sanitizer is a good alternative.
Don’t go through cabinets or drawers
“It’s polite to ask before using the bathroom in someone’s home, even if you’ve been there a million times,” Swann says. “And while you’re in there, don’t be nosy and go through drawers or cabinets.” It can be tempting to see what other people store in their medicine cabinet or go looking for the floss, but any door that is closed should stay closed. “If you need something, just ask,” she says. In public bathrooms, you also should avoid opening closets or cabinets.
Additional reporting by Lauren Cahn.
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Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experience where appropriate. For this piece on bathroom etiquette, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who specializes in etiquette and communication for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Elaine Swann, certified etiquette expert and founder of the Swann School of Protocol; phone interview, Sept. 6, 2024
- Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert, author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life and founder of the Protocol School of Texas; phone interview, Aug. 27, 2024
