Your little loves will get a kick out of these adorable Valentine’s Day jokes for kids—and so will you!
80 Funny (and Sweet) Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids
Updated on Jan. 07, 2025
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and while it’s a time for romance and fun for adults, let’s not forget about the little ones too. Kids love a good laugh, so what better way to celebrate than with some hilarious Valentine’s Day jokes for kids?
This Valentine’s Day, bring big smiles to your kids’ faces with our collection of laugh-out-loud jokes. We’re sharing the best Valentine’s Day jokes for kids about love, hearts and more. We even have Valentine’s Day food jokes and classic one-liners guaranteed to keep them giggling.
So along with sharing sweet Valentine’s Day puns and memes, don’t forget to include these Valentine’s Day jokes for kids in the mix. Your tiny valentines will think they’re paw-some!
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Funny Valentine’s Day jokes for kids about love
1. What did one lightbulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
I love you watts and watts.
2. What did one bee say to the other?
I love bee-ing with you, honey.
3. What did the tree say to the houseplant?
Do you beleaf in love?
4. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
5. What did one sheep say to the other?
I love ewe!
6. What do you call a ghost’s true love?
Their ghoul-friend.
7. What did the refrigerator say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.
8. How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart?
He gave her a ring.
9. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
I’m stuck on you!
10. What flower gives the most kisses on Valentine’s Day?
Tulips.
11. What do you say to a spider on Valentine’s Day?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
12. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes! It’s Feb. 14.
13. What did the scientist say to his sweetheart?
We’ve got good chemistry.
14. What did the dustpan say to the broom?
You sweep me off my feet!
15. Why would you want to marry a goalie?
Because he (or she) is a real keeper!
16. What shape is most popular on Valentine’s Day?
A-cute triangle.
17. Why couldn’t the calendar work late on Valentine’s Day?
He had a date.
18. Why couldn’t the two shooting stars spend Valentine’s Day together?
It simply wasn’t meant to be—they were star-crossed lovers.
19. What did the man say after Cupid hit him with a love arrow?
Ow!
20. What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day?
You can count on me.
21. What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
You get buttered up.
22. What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium?
Guppy love.
Valentine’s Day food jokes for kids
23. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
Because it couldn’t find a date.
24. What did the hamburger say to the pickle?
You’re the dill of my dreams.
25. What do you say to a donut on Valentine’s Day?
I’m donuts about you!
26. What did the cupcake say to its sweetheart?
You make life sweet.
27. Why did the orange go out with the apple?
Because it couldn’t peel its love for them!
28. What did the piece of toast say to the other?
You’re my butter half!
29. What did one taco say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
Let’s taco ’bout how much I love you!
30. Why did the cookie go to the party alone?
Because it didn’t have a sweet-heart.
31. What did the spaghetti say to the meatball on Valentine’s Day?
You’re pasta-tively amazing!
32. How did the cucumber propose to the pickle?
With a ring of onion.
33. What kind of candy is never on time? (And no, it’s not candy hearts.)
ChocoLATE.
34. What did the cook say to his girlfriend?
You’re bacon me crazy!
35. What did one pie say to the other?
Pie like you berry much.
36. What did the cucumber say to his friend?
You mean a great dill to me.
37. What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine’s Day?
Cauliflower
Valentine’s Day one-liners for kids
38. Yeah, I have a date for Valentine’s Day: Feb. 14.
39. Love is in the air—must be why I’m holding my breath.
40. Valentine’s Day: another reminder of my poor choices in crushes.
41. Mom ordered my heart-shaped pizza—it didn’t stick around.
42. Roses are red, violets are blue … I bought chocolate and ate it too.
43. Cupid called and told me he wants his arrows back—they were wasted on me.
44. If love is a battlefield, I must be already losing the war.
45. According to dad, nothing screams “I love you,” like overpriced flowers and awkward silence.
46. They say love is blind—I guess that’s why I haven’t been in love yet.
47. Valentine’s Day: proof that my crush likes chocolate more than me.
Punny Valentine’s Day jokes for kids
48. What did one Jedi say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
Yoda one for me!
49. What did the volcano say to his mother?
I lava you.
50. What did the squirrel say to his mate?
I’m nuts about you.
51. Why are flowers popular on Valentine’s Day?
Because they’re scent-imental! (Awww.)
52. What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.
53. What do you write in a Valentine’s Day card for a slug?
Be my valen-slime!
54. What did the doorknob write to his love in their Valentine’s Day card?
I adoor you!
55. What did the kitten say on Valentine’s Day?
You’re purr-fect.
56. What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
Whale you be mine?
57. What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?
A valen-tiny.
58. What did the painter say to her sweetheart?
I love you with all my art.
59. What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride on Valentine’s Day?
Be my valen-stein!
60. What did the street performer say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
Be mime!
61. What did the needle say to the thread?
You’re sew special to me.
62. What did one oar say to another?
Can I interest you in a little row-mance?
63. What do you call sweets that can keep a beat?
Candy rappers.
Valentine’s Day jokes for kids about the heart
64. What’s red on the outside and has you on the inside?
My heart. Ba-dum-bump!
65. Why didn’t the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine’s Day?
His heart wasn’t in it. (Tee-hee!)
66. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?
He stole her heart.
67. Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party?
Because you can really party hearty!
68. What shade of red is your heart?
Beat red!
69. What are artichokes known for?
Their hearts.
Valentine’s Day knock-knock jokes for kids
70. Happy Valentine’s Day! Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to be my valentine?
71. Hello again! Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
72. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby Valentine’s Day!
73. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Atlas.
Atlas who?
Atlas, it’s Valentine’s Day!
74. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Eye.
Eye who?
Eye want to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day!
75. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Iguana.
Iguana who?
Iguana hold your hand.
76. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Loves.
Loves who?
Loves you!
77. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad it’s Valentine’s Day?
78. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Fangs.
Fangs who?
Fangs for being my valentine.
79. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut you know I love you!
80. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas be my valentine!
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
