Prepare yourself for some wholesome Christmas jokes for kids!
The 50 Funniest Christmas Jokes for Kids
Updated on Oct. 23, 2024
What’s Frosty’s favorite dessert?
Ice Krispie Treats.
What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?
This one’s gonna sleigh you!
What does an elf work on after school?
His gnomework.
Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf. Ba-dum-bump!
What do Santa’s elves drive?
Minivans. Get it? Because elves are a small bunch!
What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Orna-mints!
What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
Sandy Claws. Pretty funny, right?
Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?
He’s cool.
What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you!
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!
Why don’t aliens celebrate Christmas?
Because they don’t want to give away their presence. Womp-womp.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes. The building of snowmen actually dates all the way back to the Middle Ages.
What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitus.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open this present until Christmas!
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months (aka we’re referencing the 12 Days of Christmas).
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph.
Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?
Because it was Decembrrrrrr!
Where does Santa keep all his money?
At the local snow bank.
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?
Baaaa humbug!
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish.
What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?
Elf-abet soup! Fun fact: January has been proclaimed National Soup Month, which makes sense because it tends to be the coldest time of the year.
What falls but never gets hurt?
Snow.
What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?
Candy canes.
What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?
Comet.
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?
You’ll go down in history!
What’s the weather report every Christmas Eve?
There’s a 100% chance of reindeer.
How does the snow globe feel this year?
A little shaken.
What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A humbug.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
They drop all their needles.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks?
Santa Jaws.
What’s red, white and blue at Christmas?
A sad candy cane.
What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?
Your days are numbered!
What kind of Christmas present just can’t be beat?
A broken drum.
Where does Santa go when Christmas is over?
On vacation to a ho-ho-ho-tel.
What kind of Christmas carol do you sing to fruit?
“We Wish You a Berry Christmas.”
How do you know when Santa’s around?
You can always sense his presents.
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places.
What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday?
“Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
Now that you have the perfect batch of Christmas jokes for kids, check out the funniest Christmas memes you’ll want to share with the grown-ups.
Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Reader’s Digest runs it.
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Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
